I Lost My Bestfriend To Covid-19

I never imagined that I will be lost someone because of this virus. I believe people around me that infected can always survive. After 1 week, after few weeks of quarantine, they all can survive, they will be OK, they MUST be OK. 

In the end, I was wrong. Totally wrong! My best friend can't make it, she lost in her battle. In just one week, her condition got worst, she can't breathe, oxygen level drop, and on 30th August 2021, she left me in the early morning. It's not fair that I completed my second dose of vaccination, while my friend at that time is battling with life and death and I don't even know about it.

Actually, I start to feel weird yesterday. She didn't send me a text dah seminggu, I didn't see her update anything on FB or Whatsapp status, she's so quiet suddenly. Usually dalam seminggu we must text or call each other. But lately, I was too busy with work sampai lupa nak catch up dengan dia. Then later I decide to send her a text or call dia the next morning, which is today. But I was caught by surprise, I received a message from her husband, mentioning "Yaya dah takde". I'm totally in shock and all this thing doesn't make sense. Why Yaya takde? Where did she go? What happens actually??

She didn't inform me she warded, she tested positive, she didn't mention anything! She just left me clueless. Her husband said she don't want to make people worry. But it is not fair to me. Why I can't be worried about my friend? 

Until now, I keep thinking why her? WHY HIDAYAH? She is the only friend that I have. The closest one, she knows everything about me. I don't need to spell the word, she can read my mind just by looking at my face! We annoy each other but then we love each other more. I don't care what other people might think about her, but she is my best friend. She brings our secret to the grave. Why she must leave me alone? WHY? Why does she make me feel even lonely now?

To who do I turn to now when I have something to talk about?

Who is the first one other than family that I will share anything good or bad? Even sometimes we choose to share with each other rather than with our family. Now with who I'm going to talk to?

I hate you, Hidayah. I hate you because you leave me alone without saying anything. I hate you.

But I am sure you know I love you even more. I will forever miss your "Aku sayang kau tau babe". Forever. I am glad that we know each other, be good friends, we enjoy so many things, kita sempat go travel berdua, we laugh, we cry, being each other unpaid therapist, being bodoh berjemaah, you teach me how to eat kacang pool and even ask that aunty to full cook kan my egg coz you know I will muntah later, teach me jalan kat "bandar" and then give up with "Takpelah, kalau kau nak pergi memana ajak aku jelah, aku drive. Ish kau ni", we cook for each other, we do so many things. Surely I will miss our car date. Thanks for all your effort to me. I believe you are a good friend to many people. I'm happy that ramai orang sayang kau and you be dear to all your friends. It's not about who is your real best friend or whatever, the real things are your kindness and love to everyone and you received the same one. Thank you coz have a special highlight on your IG for me "With bestie". I love you.

Rest in peace Norhidayah Binti Rusly. 

Al-Fatihah